My journey to love, and Hugh Heffner

When Hugh became Heff, just after his first betrayal in love, that was probably where our path’s split. Even then, with him fearlessly choosing the traditional role of faithful husband, and later of wealthy Casanova, our journeys maintained the course that started off in early childhood.

In many ways I feel that we are twins, separated in time by the betrayal of love as we understood it then, and it broke our hearts. I decided that I would uphold societies wish and play it straight, and since I was definitely not straight, my life became a search for answers. I immersed myself in the study of science, and through it I came face to face with God.

But just like my first experience with love, my meeting with God through the lens of an electro-microscope didn’t look like it was ‘meant’ to be at all, and baffled by the evidence I had found it slowly dawned on me that maybe society was wrong, that some of the things that were told to me was flawed. It was during this time that I broke my heart a second time, and once again it was because I could not live the love that was meant to be.

I broke up my relationship with one of the most amazing woman I have ever known, and resolved to abstain from any involvement or mutual sexual gratification until I knew much more of love. Whereas my first love broke up because the lover chose her above me, my second break up was the first time I came out to the world and admitted I was gay. At least that was what I meant.

Now, in our old age, both Hugh and I can sit back in the knowledge of a lifetime well spent and the wisdom that there is nothing more satisfying than unconditional love and gratuitous sex.