The power and peril of emotions

Emotions are unstable and short-lived in the natural order of things, and they often have little to do with the present moment we share with others. Many people think that emotions interfere with our ability to experience the present. The way we 'feel' about our situation is simpler and less confusing than we think. From an evolutionary perspective, emotions are meant to be felt in the moment instead of remembered or anticipated.

It may sound harsh or insensitive, but research shows that emotions last only 90 seconds unless we consciously keep them alive. Most conventional ways of seeking pleasure are misguided and can lead to dopamine addiction. Our idea of happiness and living well is influenced by our past experiences and limited by our personal biases, moral beliefs and social norms and values. This means that your uncle who is always grumpy, or your aunt who holds a grudge for years, or your friend who suffers from chronic emotional distress, or the stranger who takes offense at your culture are choosing to stay in that emotional state and maintain that perspective. Because of the social rules and the distracting effects of emotions on our relationships, we tend to see feelings as a problem and avoid expressing them in most situations.

But living well depends on the feeling we have when we are fully engaged in an activity, the presence we share when we are attentive and connected to others, and the change we create by embracing nature's creative flow. Without any intention to judge or control our emotions, we can learn to observe them as they arise and pass away, like waves on the ocean. We can also cultivate positive emotions such as gratitude, compassion, joy and love by practicing mindfulness, meditation, kindness and generosity. These emotions can enhance our well-being and help us cope with stress and challenges. By being aware of our emotions and choosing how to respond to them, we can live more authentically and harmoniously with ourselves and others.